Alchemizing “I’m Sorry"
How many times per week do you notice yourself saying the words, ‘I’m sorry?’ How many times per day? How does it make you feel when you say it?
Mirriam Webster’s Dictionary defines ‘sorry’ as
1. ‘Feeling sorrow or sympathy’
2. ‘Feeling regret or penitence.’
This automatically leads me into feelings of shame and/or guilt. It implies something has been done that shouldn’t have happened and there is something/someone to blame or fix.
It lands with me as a saying that is overused in the English language. I remember working in restaurants and saying “I’m sorry” countless times per night over things that were trivial at best. I remember in relationships constantly apologizing for things that didn’t even feel true and the weakened, disempowered state I experienced through that.
It also seems we are using these words frequently when we prioritize our needs. “I’m sorry I can’t come, I’m not feeling well.” “I’m sorry it took me a while to respond, I’ve been feeling tired/busy.” I feel curious as to why these feelings of regret are being experienced after honoring what is in alignment for us. Why are we making excuses for ourselves?
I wonder about ways to honor the other parties involved while still feeling empowered in ourselves and operating from a place of love. It always seems to come back to gratitude. “I acknowledge that we were planning to see each other and I thank you for honoring that this moment isn’t feel aligned for connection,” “I am so grateful you reached out and also thank you for allowing this response to come through in its own time.”
Or maybe it’s messier than that, I really don’t know. Lately I’ve felt triggered by these words and am curios to explore other ways.
In Spanish it is said, “lo siento,” which translates in English to “I feel it.” This lands so much more gracefully in my body. The support we can potentially receive through feeling things together, or listening and honoring to how each person feels including ourselves feels much more expansive than placing feelings of regret or penitence on what has occurred.
One is an immediate trying to close, erase or forget what has occurred and the other is creating space for a process to unfold. It seems like the latter, feeling with each other, can open a space to alchemize whatever has occurred into something that is of a higher frequency, it just asks for more ‘time.’
I’m curious to hear if anything is feeling alive for you after reading this…
