Looking for Love?
Are you curious about how to utilize Human Design to cultivate love and connection? Feeling frustrated, bitter, angry or disappointed in your relationships? Experimenting with Human Design can help, but not in the way the mind thinks.
When the Not-Self looks for the mind’s illusion of love, it is looking to fill aspects of the design that it thinks are missing. For as long as we are operating from our openness we spend our lives searching for another to fill our gaps and bring us a false and fleeting feeling of wholeness.
When we look in the Human Design BodyGraph, all of the aspects that are in white in each chart are where we are open to the world. To emphasize, everyone has everything, nothing is missing. The openness is simply where we are open to taking in the world and where we have both the potential for wisdom and for the mind to lead us into bitterness, frustration, anger and disappointment.
Since these open aspects are not operating in a consistent way within us, Human Design deems this as the ‘Not-Self.’ We pick up the frequencies in these areas from others and from the transits.
The open or white areas are not where we are meant to make decisions from since we can not consistently rely on them to signify what is aligned for us. This can also be where the mind thinks it has gaps to fill and subscribes to Not-Self Strategies for decision making.
Can you see where this can become problematic in relationships?
Some of these Not-Self Strategies in relationships can show up like:
‘I’m not whole on my own.’
‘I’m not safe on my own.’
‘I need to prove that I am worthy of being in a relationship.’
‘I need to search for love through the other.’
‘I can’t express my truth because it might cause a confrontation with my lover.’
‘I am going to keep initiating to find a relationship until I find love.’
‘I need to feel validated by this person or attract their attention.’
‘I need them to know that I am certain.’
‘I need them to think I’m very inspiring.’
‘Time is running out for me to be in a relationship.’
Have you ever initiated interest in someone from one of these places? Did it turn out to be satisfying? Did you feel recognized? Was it a peaceful dynamic? Were you pleasantly surprised by what you experienced? Or not?
For as long as we operate from the themes of our openness, what we attract back is people doing the same.
When we are looking for love from a place of lack or trying to find wholeness, we get a honeymoon period of feel goodness (like a dopamine hit), but are often left feeling even emptier than we started.
What happens if we first cultivate this feeling of wholeness within ourselves?
Human Beings are not meant to live in isolation. We are here to be connected with the other and learn through what we take in from each other So is there a way to bring more acceptance, love and fulfillment into our connections? This is where experimenting with Human Design can come in.
Human Design is all about self-love. Now, there is a lot of talk about ‘self-love,’ but what is it really?
Often the mind does not like certain aspects of the design when it meets Human Design. “How do I change that?” “How do I fix that?” Are very common questions that arise. The Human Design Experiment is the process of cultivating radical acceptance, allowance and love for each and every aspect of our definition - what makes us, us. This is true self-love.
Each of us is born perfectly unique. We see this so clearly in Human Design. There never has been and never will be another you. Every single aspect of your definition weaves together throughout your life as it is nurtured by the lessons and opportunities that come. This potential way that you can express is completely perfect, there is nothing to change or fix. It is all about acceptance.
As we decondition and start to see how our definition starts to express through us, how the quantum of these aspects can fully align with the unique life path we are here to walk, the self-love that is possible becomes entirely embodied.
Self-Love in Human Design is not about a mental concept, it’s about a slow process of unwinding all of the things the mind thinks it doesn’t like about the life and making space for the cells in our bodies to turn over and start to vibrate love and authenticity.
When there is love and acceptance radiating from within the form - from the perfect uniqueness that is inherent in each of us, then love is something we never need to search for because we are it.
When the definition, the very life force within each of us is vibrating out pure and radiant love, do you see how that is exactly what we attract back?
There is a genetic imperative to bond and mate with the other. When we are vibrating out pure love through our definition, when we are living correctly according to our Strategy and Authority, the correct others come and fill in the spaces in a way that feels satisfying, where we feel recognized, where it can be peaceful and pleasantly surprising.
Love starts from within. It comes through living correctly as ourselves in all of our perfect uniqueness expressing out through our very life force in every moment as life comes to meet us.
The love that comes might look vastly different from what the mind thinks it wanted, but the vibrational alignment and deep sense of resonance can be more profound than the mind could ever begin to understand.
Are you resonating?
